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tomolo will be having my 1st paper for my exams… hai… dunno if I have done all my revision.. seems like I did but yet my mind are so blank now… kinda nervous and have not slept well for the past few days… even in my dream i can dreamt abt the exams or if not i will be trying to memorise the phrase in my txtbk during my sleep… lolz… I’m really freaking out right now… confidence level has drop since last yr… dunno y.. juz do not have the confidence… ppl always say that if a person have confidence, half the battle already won… haha.. looks like I already lost half the battle… sianz… i hv to build up my confidence level…. and i really muz… Okie ppl… same old words… pls pray that I pass my exams… no need flying colors… I juz need a pass and get over it once n for all…

* To all my classmates: Lets work and study hard for this last lap of ours… be confidence and we can make it… lets motivate each other thru the last phase… and I know we can all make it thru together!! Good luck everyone!

I felt sad.. I felt bad… I felt tired… I felt a whole load of shit now!!! what is wrong and what had happened? is it something wrong with me? I always try my best to be patient.. to be tolerance.. to be understanding..to be loving to my surrounding… so what is god damn wrong abt it?  Am I trying too hard to be an angle that have cause me to fall harder this time? I’m human too for god seek… I need love too.. i need ppl to understand me too… i need tolerance and patient from others too! Am I asking for too much? What have this world become to? Cant I have the best of both world?  Why is the world so selfish? why is it that when you fall you felt the most pain than others who had fell from the same height as you? Is it cos you are weaker or is it cos you had fell too many times that you cant take it anymore? Why do ppl changed with changes to the surrounding environment while others dun? Is it cos you r more easily influence by the environment or is it cos you wanna change into a better person? Why Why Why????… there is too many WHYs in this world that is left unexplained! and maybe it’s better left unexplained than explained… cos many unexplained thing is rather complicated and confusing sometime… but … one thing for sure is that if you TRY to explain… there might be a better understanding to the complication & confusion… I’m really tired! God pls explain to me! :~(

"Everything you do is triggered by an emotion of either desire or fear"

~ By Brian Tracy ~

God pls help me overcome the fear and put me back to my concentration again… :~(

Today entry gonna be a short one. Juz feeling kind of depressed today.. dunno y oso… probably is the studying that is making me crazy… it’s the 1st day of leave I have taken for my study… so still feel abit lethargic as usual… met up with dear and another fren of mine to study at KAP(King Albert Park) Mac… nice place to study until a grp of pri sch kids came in at abt 3pm… i started to felt the irritation from them cos they r simply too noisy!!!… argh! cant they speak softly? we changed to another seat and continue to do our past yr paper. We manage to almost finish the zone A paper left with 2 qns to go..

was suppose to go for revision class but in the end… haha nv go.. hai… dunno y oso… half heartedly wanted to go yet nv go… guess i’m physically tired… juz felt every where aching and somemore am hving diarrhea every since 2wks ago. today worst run to the toilet at mac for dunno how many times.. very jia lat! dunno is it i’m too tense up abt the exam or is it there is something really wrong abt my stomach. well this i really dunno.. if it continues, i think i better go see the doc b4 it’s too late.. 

ever since I was admitted twice to hospital due to my kidney inflammation 2 yrs ago, i hv not been feeling a bit healtier as compared to before.. hai… i was really sad cos i used to be very healthy and lively. now le? hai… it’s really totally the opposite.. i become slackier and slackier… thats really very bad… after exam i muz really get back my usual self… I really need all the motivation… where has it gone!!?? okie i going to bed now… really mentally and physically tired… i need some sleep and tomolo I shall have all the full force to study… nitey all… pls pray for me! miss my old days… :~(

After a long wkend and here comes my last day of enjoyment before going back to work tomolo… argh.. hate it.. but bo pian… got to endure. today my department hving shutdown and thus i NO NEED TO WORK!!! so happy yet so sad.. cos my enjoyment and slackiness will end today. got to start working hard for my exams.. looks like i have been repeating this for umpteen time but time and again i did not do that… die liao die die oso muz start studying by this wk!!! God help me again!!!

today went badminton with one of my colleague and IA stud from my company. They r jeffrey and canny… today was late to the hougang sports hall and thus poor jeffrey was there alone waiting for me and canny. worst is canny oso late too… she was the most late wan lor cos she blur queen alight at the wrong bus stop and poor her walk till like almost half dead when she reached… hee..

after badminton we went to hougang mall to have our lunch… we had the MOST oily food today and thats KFC(*drooling*)… hee.. back to square one after our exercise… lolz… we went to redhill after lunch to have my dopod repair cos my socket for my headset was spolit.. but guess wat in the end? they tell me the socket is connected to the main board and the main board are out of stock… so? I need to go back again once the stock is there for my repair… agrh.. waste my time lor and oso waste both jeff n canny time too.. sorry to both of them for accompanying me all the way to red hill and in the end i nv get my phone repaired… shitty manz… their service sux a thousand times. Keep me waiting for like 20mins and in the end nv repair.. hai.. damn PISSED!

went to outram to shop shop cos jeff recommended a cd shop that sell CD for S$6.90,
S$5.90 and some S$4.90

…@@

  wow~~~ damn cheap !!! btw it’s original hor… not pirated wan.. juz that cos they are all direct import cd from china… hehe… anyway the shop is juz 5min walk from outram mrt station. u will see it when walking there de… cos only one cd shop along the stretch facing the road. we did not buy any cd cos did not see any cd that i need… thus we went to the other shop in the market(zhen zhu ba sa) and bought the 张栋梁 cd below from there.

it’s cheap too only S$5.90. and canny bought the guang liang cd too.

After that we went to one of the shop houses there for dessert… YUMMY YUMMY! think of it make me drool again.. really very TASTY, NICE and YUMMY!!! btw… bad news… i forget to note down the address for u guys.. sorry.. but the small stree
t along the chinatown pt beside the macdonald… juz alight the mrt(north east line) at chinatown and you will get to there liao… juz 5mins walk will reach liao..
below is wat we order:

Jeffrey’s order - Mango with
Coconut Milk:

This is jeffrey’s order… but i find it too sweet cos of the "ye
jiang" but the mango and sago is nice. overall taste still quite nice
and tasty.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

Presentation: 7.5/10

Price: S$7.00

Canny’s Order - Mango Ice Cream with waffle:

This is Canny’s order… waffle okie but abit too small serving.
The mango ice cream too artificial taste liao… doesn’t taste like
mango le… but still okie la ah.. again the best part of it is the
mango and sago…

Overall rating: 6/10

Presentation: 8/10

Price: S$5.00

My Order - Chilled Mango with Pomelo and Mango Pudding:

This is my order… and this is rated the best among the three by
us… the overall taste is the best cos its not so sweet and the
pudding is soft and tasty!

Overall rating: 9.5/10

Presentation: 7.5/10

Price: S$7.00

wow… see.. the pic above really make me drool again… very tempting lor.. if you happen to go chinatown, u can try out more dessert there too…. all kinds and pattern u name it they have it. they also serve lunch n dinner too… btw i dun work for them… juz find their place quite cozy and nice to juz seat there and relax and slack… so  juz help them promote abit la.. hee.. i dun get paid k… okie la such a long post i need to log off to bed liao… cos tomolo is another torturing day for me again cos my boss is back from his 2days MC… sianz… nitey all especially to my dear.. pls dun be stress… i’ll be behind u supporting u… missz u…

wkend ends again! argh i hate it… lolz… another 30min from my clock will be monday. took 2 days off to touch out my fyp report and hopefully can finish up asap. time is really running out for me. got to buck up!

went to pay my fren a respect at the mandai crematory this late afternoon cos of the cmg qin ming jie. abt 16 of us went there. this yr was abit late and rain was as heavy as before… it was like juz yest that my fren had passed away. in fact it was 2 yrs ago le. it’s really very nan de of us to go visit him as a big grp every yr. this show how united we can be. he was my secondary sch fren and had known him for almost 9 yrs! he will always be remembered in our heart. Though i do not tok to him often in the past but i still do feel a sense of emotion everytime we went to visit him… Just wanted to say that he will always be remembered
in our grp!

went hm straight after that and had a rest… was feeling kinda weak and tired today… hai.. dunno y.. it’s another emotional day of the mth… jia lat… nowaday i will get emotional often… wat had happened to me le? i think i need alot of attention every now n then… sometime juz felt that i’m not given all the pampered i wan… lolz.. i need alot alot of love, care n concern!

god pls do give them to me… i’m feeling tired, lonely n bored! hai…

2 more mths and everything will be finish.. i got to endure abit… my exams will be in abt mid may to early june… after that i got to get back my life… got to do some exercise n many many more that i had missed for the past 3 yrs of studies… i wanna travel too! next big thing to do is to start $aving liao… i’m not getting any younger anymore le.. got to plan for my future now. haha.. sound as if i’m in the 30s… well anyway in May i will be 24 yrs old liao… so fast hor… how i hope i’m still 18yrs old… free from worries and less commitment. i muz be dreaming… hee… okie enough of my lame craps… i go play my lumines and zzz liao… nitey and sweet dreams!

Its the 2nd day of the wk and as usual, still hving the monday blue lolz… i
realise wkdays are hard to pass by nowaday especially at work. not that there is
no work to do but plenty that you juz feel like throwing it all aside… been
busy wif many statistical studies… numbers n mumbers… see till my eyes oso
blur… i guess i’m really not gd at numbers… lolz… seeing munbers juz make
me wanna sleep… BUT if I see $$… haha… thats a different case…

went straight hm after work to slack cos was too tired… do abit of my fyp report. Guess how many words I am at now? I cant believe it myself when i did the wordcount… i am at 9000+ words and i still have abt 1/2 more to go… which means my report will be very long winded cos the minimum requirement is 8500words. I didn’t noe i can bull shit so well… haha.. lolz..

after doing report, its time to slack abit n reward myself… played a
game on psp call lumines(see pic on right)… looks familiar? it’s not
tetris hor… but same theory u need to bust the block in same color but muz be in square format… for details can go to Lumines Offical Website. Reason y i like this game cos each level has its own musical theme and sound effects… its colorful swirling backgrounds are very clear too! I would rate it 9.5/10 cos its fun and the soundtrack is wonderful! and it was rated the best game for psp by USA today worz… dun play play.. lolz… so anyone who hold the psp, u might wanna try on this game. was actually addicted to it now… hee… die.. muz restrict myself for the wk to come as exam is drawing nearer n nearer. Time to revise my module and finish up my fyp report… sianz… keke… enough of my craps it’s 大长今time… mmuarkz & nitey…

Happened to chat with my fren on msn yesterday and realise that my ex was actually badmouthing behind my back though we was like broke off for almost 2.5 to 3 yrs! This is really getting on my nerves. I never put that into heart though when I heard of it but it just burns my blood as I tht of it again. Argh! "ke wu er xin"!!! If he happen to read my blog i would like to let him know that he is a god damn farking loser. Get on with your life and leave me alone for god seek. If badmouthing me is a way for you to get back at me, you are really a LOSER!

Leaving him was really good choice that I had make. It took me 6 years to ends this relationship. Imagine how many chances I have given him?! I was really naive back then to have believe in every words he say until I was in hospital then I realise who really cares abt me. Back then he was away at new jersey working. Jolly well know that I was god damn sick in hospital, he did not even ask abt my condition nor did he send his family members to see me. What he did was asking about his credit card bills whether or not I have help him settle it. WTF? Didn’t he know that I was sick and that I was in hos for almost 1wk? That was when i was really out of words to say. That was the moment that I have totally given up hope on him or should I say way before that. Not to mention other stuff abt him which piss me off.

Just wanted to let him know that breaking up with him was really a release. Thank god! I’m contented with my present bf who is 10x better than him. I hope this will be my last and only relationship and I mean it! I must admit that i have extremely limited knowledge of relationships,
but pray tell, it is all about mutual agreements, isn’t it? Okie enough craps from me… jus realise that I sound kind of errmmm bitter? well, i’m not… jus get carried away I guess…  be back again…

It’s been sometime I updated my blog.  Feeling kinda stress lately after transfering to a new dept call pressure sensor. It’s basically doing sensor for certain parts of the car like fuel tank, seat etc. Safety sensor I would call it. haha… say so much guess no one will noe exactly wat it is. hee…

anyway life there really sux! dunno if i shld regret going there or wat… the work load and issue there nv ends… wanted to focus on my improvement project but in the end my time are all on the issue there and taking care of other stuff. dunno i shld be happy or wat, my boss put me incharge of everything and want me to make decision myself if possible. but I am only a small fly… not every decision u make ppl will see it high up. they will still say " hey y dun you ask yr boss 1st" etc kind of reply. watever it is, i am still new at that dept…. many things there are different from my previous dept. I need time to adapt… but… i find myself no air to breath anymore… work is piling up and all stuff at PS need following up and updates almost everyday…. I only got 1 me… how to do so many stuff at one go?  even if u cut me into many many pieces oso no use… lolz… and my boss will only put more n more proj for me to do even before i finish or even started my other proj… how do u expect me to concentrate! haha… dunno how long i can take it before i quit….

Exams round the corner…. hai.. another stressful thing I hv to go through… before exam is my assignments & FYP!! only manage to finsh 6 out of 10 assignments!!! and my FYP like nv started at all… OMG!! how to survive and datelines are drawing nearer n nearer… god pls help me!

I’m way too disappointed and hurt by the words that was said to me today. often words that come out from yr closest hurt you the most when it’s never meant to be wat had been said. my heart torn apart when the words get into my mind. Now…I realise watever that i meant well turn out to be a nuisance…  never noe that wat i had done are not appreciated but instead turn out to be "something" else…. i’m not asking for anything for this post juz need somewhere to vent my frustration and disappointment….